I've received a few emails asking if and when I will have a second book out. Well, I just finished writing the first draft last week! Of course that means that it goes to an editor at NavPress for an overhaul and rework. But I thought I'd share a bit with you. This section comes out of the chapter on "Doubt and Discouragement". Tell me what you think. Just be gentle, I'm fragile. :-)
*****
Jesus and Grover Together
As the steam dissipated from the mirror, I found myself gazing at someone whom I wasn’t sure I knew. I stood there repeatedly asking myself the same question, “Are you even saved?” The guy in the mirror had a freshly shaved face, a couple shiny new earrings, and thanks to his new Sonic Care toothbrush—some pearly white teeth. But underneath the cutting edge emergent pastor look there was a seemingly sewer pipe full of doubt bringing a stench to my spiritual air.
This was a real bad way to start a Sunday morning. I stood there looking into my own eyes and I couldn’t honestly say that I truly believed anymore. Today God felt like an imaginary friend. My son had his stuffed Grover doll, my daughter had her Polly Pockets, and I had Jesus. My kids could invite 3 or 4 friends over to play house or Sesame Street and I thought that was cute. But in 2 hours, I was inviting 200 friends over to play church—and that stressed me out. I felt like a total poser. Like agent Muldar of the X-files, I cried out, “I want to believe!”
Maybe my mind had just been playing tricks on me all these years. This morning God seemed so distant—so make-believe. And here I was promoting my own version of a Wonder-bra spirituality. I was trying hard to prop of my externals so that no one would notice the fear and unbelief brewing within.
Now don’t get me wrong. I was sincere. At least this morning I sincerely wanted to be sincere. Actually, I sincerely wanted to be sincere about my sincerity. Maybe that’s why this whole faith and doubt thing was getting so complex. I was becoming as complex spiritually as toddlers become pretendingly, if that’s even a word.
Follow me here for a moment. What we look at in toddlerhood as simple pretend play is actually a progression of some amazingly complex brain power. Watch a two year old play and you’ll notice they have an incredible ability to pretend they are something else—“I’m a kitty (meow)… I’m a bear (grrr)… I’m a fireman (woo, wooo) etc.” Pretty straight forward pretending—I pretend to be someone or something else.
Then toddlers take an intellectual leap. Soon they can take an inanimate object (like a doll) and pretend to talk to it and have it talk back. Yep, now I’m not only the one involved in pretending, but I get an object to pretend with me. Or give a kid a toy gun and suddenly he is pretend shooting at every moving object that walks by. But the complexity continues…
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Okay, so there is a piece. What do ya think?
Monday, February 14, 2005
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6 comments:
I really like it, Eric. I love the phrase "Wonder-bra spirituality". You've definitely found your voice, and you're using it well.
Eric - Looks great so far. I was actually just thinking last week when the next one was going to be coming out! I can't wait to read the whole book!!! I can totally relate to the excerpt that you just posted!! Thanks for being so honest and open with us!
God Bless You Bro
~Jen~
Looks good!!
Word to the sludge.
Huh...so I'm NOT the only one who feels like a poser? Whew! That's a relief. I'll have to wait patiently for the rest of it! By the way, the six "leaders" of our church's women's bible study group are going through "Buck Naked Faith" chapter by chapter and discussing. At this point in the ministry, we have the potential to become "organized" and "relgious"...or to get buck naked iwth God. It surely has sparked some interesting conversation. Thanks for your honesty.
I love the honesty. If you haven't read them already, you may be interested in the following books: "Rumors of Another World" by Philip Yancey and "Waking the Dead" by John Eldridge.
i love what you have to say about the true-ness of our Christian walk. i wonder what the Christian would be like if we were all open and honest about who and how we are in Christ.
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